Facebook Status Funny

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

I follow the quote, "Always be true to yourself" because I only lie to others".

You're beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.

I am a star, so when you see me, make a wish.

I posted on your wall. No, not on Facebook! Look at the side of your house.

Money doesn't bring happiness but shopping does.

I'm not single, I'm in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.

Don't you know it's rude to talk while I'm interrupting?

The average woman rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Hi, I'm Mr Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.

Lovely days in my life, childhood days, school days & college days.
Horrible days in my life, only EXAM days.

Girls fall in love with what they hear.
Boys fall in love with what they see.
That's why girls wear make up and boys lie.

My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her and I said, it's freaking 2013 so I'll rent a boat.

If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called Angry Birds.

I wish I could Google, "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldn't have to go downstairs and be disappointed.

Remember, when she cancels a date she has to but when he cancels a date he has TWO.

A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?
Trainer replies, Use the ATM.

Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to write on a wall.

Harush says if you want to be together, you have TO-GET-HER.

I'm a smart person, I just do stupid things.